Reasonably Ascertainable Reality

Thoughts and musings on current events and other random occurrences.

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Location: South Jersey, United States

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Bill Maher...my twin?

As many people who know me know (??), I have a wierd fascination with Bill Maher and the fact that 95% of our views are almost identical (except for his fascination with the Playboy mansion). In fact, two weeks in a row, I said something to my family, only to watch Real Time and hear Bill say the same thing, in almost the exact same words. So, for a little comic relief, some "New Rules" from one of my favorite shows.
Sorry for the slow posting, more updates to come on 'Justice Sunday', my buddy Tom Delay and the filibuster!!

New Rule: Stop taking stupid polls. Every news program on every cable news network has their own dumb-ass, online poll, and it's always some ridiculous question like, "We want to know what you think. Is John Bolton too much of an asshole, not enough of an asshole, or just the right amount of asshole? Hey, this is America. Knowing nothing and choosing one of two options isn't a poll. It's an election.

And finally, New Rule: Because it's Earth Day, I get to ask this question: How come we have cars with global positioning systems, satellite radio and voice-activated web access, and we still power them with the black goop you have to suck out of the ground? Well, I hate to tell you this, folks, but gas doesn't cost too much; it costs too little. Ooh, I know, I know. I know you hear about gas prices over two dollars a gallon and it makes you nearly choke on your four-dollar latte.
We bitch about gas, but adjusted for inflation, it's the same price it was back when the Pope was a Nazi. And that's not the fault of ExxonMobil, either. That's like Kirstie Alley saying her problem is that Arabs control all the fudge. Anyone who's been to Europe knows that the price of gas over there is just a picture of an arm and a leg. And that's because they tax it heavily and we don't. How come we Americans accepted that you could do that to cigarettes - overtax them because they were bad - but burning oil into the atmosphere is okay?
You can't smoke in a bar, but you can drive through a restaurant? A little smoke from a cigar is intolerable, but a lot from a Hummer is no problem? Of course, the Hummer is made by General Motors, the owner of other gas-guzzling F***-You-mobiles - like the Escalade and the Suburban. And they just lost a billion dollars in one quarter. Because it suddenly got a lot less sexy to drive one of these fake macho vehicles now that it costs a hundred bucks to fill it up. Yeah, nobody's dick is that small.
Plus, does anybody remember the '70s? GM did this before. They got filthy rich selling giant cars that suddenly people didn't want because gas went up. Cut to the Japanese gloating, as they are again. Because they own the patent for the hybrid car. GM could have had a piece of it, but they said it didn't make economic sense. Hey, you just lost a billion dollars in three months. You don't have any economic sense.

2 Comments:

Blogger dilemma said...

i loved the election comment!! so true! and yes, some dicks are that small (sorry georgy boy!) as far as the gas topic is concerned I agree, and i drive an suv! americans don't know what their in for. wait until gas prices are $9.00 a gallon and the burbs cease to exist b/c people can't afford to drive back and forth to work. it's coming people, it's coming faster than you know. by the way, nice blog. i don't even mind commenting once i have done 2 hours of research so i feel a little more educated about the topics! keep up the good work!

11:37 AM  
Blogger z said...

Well, I 'spose I don't need to re-iterate my whacky position on the point of gas prices, oil and the inevitable decline of modern civilization. So I won't.
I would, however, like to point out a couple of things that I think are germane.
The gas crunch of the 70's was a political event designed to show the world OPEC's clout. It certainly was successful. It sent the economy of the USA into a recession for about 10 years. I guess we learned our lesson, eh? If you think finding a job now is tough, you should have tried it then. A resume for counter help at 7-11? Preposterous, but true. It was awful.
I don't think we'll be signing any treaties to get out of the next crunch.

It's nice to see GM wallowing in river of red ink for a change. It'll be tough on the workers, if there are any left in the US. The company will most certainly blame high labor costs for the loss and pass the savings onto the consumer.
As for the Japanese, I doubt that they're really in much of a position to gloat by owning hybrid patent's. Hybrids use LNG, which is going the way of oil. The technology for large scale implementation and infrastructure developement is at least 20 years down the road. Maybe if we'd started 20 years ago....pity.
In any case, if you've followed the news (and I know you do) you've noticed some saber rattling going on between China and Japan.
Japan with virtually no natural resources and China with, I believe, about a 25% increase in demand for fuel last year are both moving to defend Natural Gas deposits claimed by Japan in the East China Sea
" Japan has announced a $1.1 billion emergency plan to build liquefied natural gas terminals. - Bloomberg, February 14, 2005. Twelve days later it was announced that Japanese destroyers had driven away Chinese exploration vessels in international waters that were too close to a possible natural gas field (claimed by Japan) in the East China Sea. - The Herald Sun, January 26, 2005."
If China takes over Taiwan, Japan is helpless.
Who's going to send troops to defend Taiwan, or Japan? Oh...right. It could go nuclear.
The time for gloating is well passed. Those Hybrids should have been on the road long ago.

On a cheerier note, it's not the size of the dick that matters, it's the size of the brain, and yes....some people's brains ARE that small.
ta ta....

2:55 PM  

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