James Dobson and the Focus on the Family organization...I don't even know how to finish that sentence! Lets just take a moment to examine a few of their tips on understanding your relationship and your children.
This lovely article is written by a women (reportedly) on communication between husbands and wives. Its purported purpose? Why, to help of course. Lets take a look:
A man defines himself by what he does, not by his relationships. When introduced, a man will say, “I’m John — I’m in retail sprockets and gears for Yada Yada Industries.” When it’s his wife’s turn, she’ll say, “I’m Judy, John’s wife, and we have three kids: John Jr., Judy Jr. and JJ.”
You know, because a wife's only definition of herself comes from her husband and children. In fact, after marriage and kids, wives generally stop answering to their given name and only answer to 'Mom'--even from their husband.
Guys like sports. That’s because there’s a goal involved: make baskets, get on base, score a touchdown. Most guys don’t like figure skating. “What’s the point?” a guy asks. “You spin around to music."
Because God knows figure skating isn't a sport. What? Its in the Olympics? What? They train all year round for their whole lives to become proficient in spinning around to music? They can execute triple spins in the air and land them perfectly...thats sissy stuff.
On the other hand, a man’s competitive nature often leads to insecurity and jealousy. It’s not uncommon for an unbelieving husband to be jealous of his wife’s church and the time she spends there, jealous of other Christians — especially other Christian men — and to be jealous of God.
A wise woman will make an effort to appreciate her husband’s competitive instincts and will take his reasonable display of jealousy as a sign that he’s afraid of losing her. The best thing she can do is to assure him by her actions that loving God with her whole heart means having even greater love for him.
And a wise women will know that when she gets the beat down from her jealous husband, he's doing it out of love for her and she will rightly keep her mouth shut. How is she to learn anything if she's always thinking about herself?
And some final parting tips from this 'wise' woman:
Go to his softball games and pay attention.
Tell him often that what he does at work is important to you.
Never belittle or trivialize his work.
Ask questions about his job. Learn what he does.
Determine what your husband does well and provide opportunities for him to perform and succeed. Ask him if he would: glue a chair leg, move furniture, change a doorknob, plan a trip, etc.
Say thank you often.
Watch your interactions with other men and avoid situ-ations that could be misinterpreted.
Ask his advice and then take it. If you're not willing to do that, it's better not to ask in the first place.
Ask for his help.
Build him up in front of your kids.
Never correct him in public.
Dream with him, even if you think his dreams are farfetched. That's what makes them dreams.
Touch him often, especially when you're listening to him talk.
Ladies, if your husband is wrong about something, don't correct him. Instead, let him go on looking like a total idiot in public..that is much better. And when you get home and he wants sex, you are to enjoy it regardless of the fact of whether or not you were in the mood.
Let's remember people, not only is this organization prominent and its leader, Dobson, a popular talk show guest, its opinion has been sought after regarding Supreme Court nominees and high ranking public officials pander to its members at nutfests like Justice Sunday. Just another day in the good ole USA.