Up is down, right is left

In an amazing display of idiocy, Bill Frist continues on board the crazy train (emphasis mine).

The majority leader said the judicial impasse would have never been
broken had he not forced the issue by threatening to prohibit filibusters and
engaged in an extended buildup to the vote, creating pressure for a
compromise.
"Without that sort of leadership, there is no deal to be cut,
there are no brokers to deal, there is no deal to be brokered," he
said.

I've decided that my life has had a glaring lack of moments where I could be given credit for solutions to problems that I've caused. So I've decided to do the following:

1. Climb a bridge and threaten to jump. When I'm talked down by the chief negotiator in a heroic display of compassion, I'm going to claim that without my risk-taking abilities, that negotiator would never have been able to save my life and be called a 'hero'.
2. Cause a car accident. Then, when the other car is totalled, let everyone know that without me, that person would never have gotten a new car!
3. Attempt to rob a bank and be a miserable failure at it. Then, when caught, claim that without my initiative, the police would never have been able to show their crime-busting abilities.


If anyone has any other ideas of incidents that I can cause out of sheer stupidity and lack of respect for the rules, please feel free to leave them in the comments. Please make sure that a solution to the problem that I cause is demonstrable and easily attainable.